Oh dear. Well, now is the time to tell you that I am a Military Wife. And, as these things go, we are getting ready for our next deployment.
I’ve been through this before, though this time will be different I am sure. Last time I was a Military Girlfriend and we weren’t living in the same city. But I’ll tell ya, no matter where you are or what your relationship status is, deployment is tough. We are still months away, but in these upcoming months my Marine will be doing weeks of training, just to come back home when I’ve become accustomed to him being gone. And shortly thereafter, he’ll leave again, and this time for the real deal.
Our pre-deployment brief was last week and the night before I was up at 3:30 in the morning, just worrying. I couldn’t stop thinking about all the challenges of deployment and how I would get through it. In this community my friends are always in some stage of deployment, and it has been so interesting to see how each one handles it. Some deal with intense sadness and at times withdraw, others find themselves a little angry–but most of the time we dive into as many projects as we possibly can to pass the time. For me, it’s painting, working, and gardening. (Keith received many photos of baby cucumbers in his care packages last time. I am sure he loved it.)
And for me, the worst part is right now. The Countdown, as I call it. I struggle to block from my mind the sense of dread that something is happening that is beyond my control. Every part of me wants to somehow physically stop time in its tracks. A fellow Military Wife said to me the other day that she would begin praying for time to slow down for me. It’s funny how we, our little support group, knows exactly how the other is feeling, depending on her timeline.
Please forgive me for being such a whiner – I know there are many, many worse things one can go through. And I know that though many will never experience the trials of deployment, they also won’t experience the intense elation when they return. The husband of a good friend of mine is coming home today, and I’ve had butterflies in my stomach all weekend just knowing how excited she is right now.
Deployment is filled with struggles, but in the end, it can also be filled with achievements and pride. I know that by the end of this one, I will feel so proud of my Marine, but also of myself, much like this lady describes in her wonderful post on the eve of her Marine’s return.
So before I close, let me just say thanks to all of our military out there, including their very inspiring families. Thank you for all that you do.